There's a brand new sound that's sweeping the nation. Every mall, every radio station. Kids go crazy to the driving beat, cars go driving to the crazy street. The girls look tough and the boys look sweet dancing to the crazy beat. The name of this soundL alternative. And that's the way I want to live. Alternative, if you'll turn it on, we'll alternate all night long. Let's dance to an alternative song and alternate all night long. Alternative is here to stay. It will never go away. That's another reason why alternative will never die. Alternative will never go, everybody loves it so. And I think it's safe to say, alternative is here to stay. Some people like to rock, some people like to roll, and that was cool in days of old. But all the kids where the action is, got to have alternative. I'm in love with an alternative girl, she's not like the other alternative girls: she's pierced and dyes and scarified, she hates Tom Cruise, she loves Anne Rice. We're gonna be an alternative sight when I take her out on Saturday night. Alternative is something more than number 1, 2, 3, and 4. It's 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Alternative is doing fine. Alternative is how we live, we believe in alternative. And I think it's safe to say alternative is here to stay...

My new girlfriend is better than you, she's got bigger breasts and a higher IQ. And she always knows which fork to use, and she doesn't always have some lame excuse. She's a-wigglin' and a-gigglin' and a-bakin' a pie, and I can tell by the look in her eye that she's never gonna make me have to wonder why. And we're gonna have a hell of a time. She's better than you. When she's with me and we're hanging around, we sit and talk about how you let me down. And how you always used to make that annoying sound, and how you sure could stand to lose a few pounds. So I really hope you're happy with the way it turned out, ‘cause you made a fool of me. But who's laughing now, who's laughing not. Ha ha ha haha ha ha. She's better than you. My new girlfriend is better than you, she's got higher breasts and a bigger IQ.

I'm bored today, and everything's there to be ignored today, scattered everywhere out on the floor today. And I don't care about you. I lost my job today, which used to be the way I could afford to live to hate another day. And now I can't afford to be bored anymore. It's kind of good to feel bad again, mad again, sad again. I'll be doing that again. I don't have to tell you I do it really well. You said goodbye today and I'm just here still asking why today, and not another year, I'm gonna cry today. But I don't care about you. Maybe it wasn't bad to do, and you did what you had to do. Maybe I'll believe it too, if I keep saying I don't care about you, today. I don't know what I'm gonna do today, and there's a lot to get through today. But I don't care about you, today.